No More Waiting

A heavy rain dunk the biscotti bite
through the next thought and the next
Tahitian ginger blossoms strewn
under their bush-become-tree reaching
over the quartzite jigsaw we named lanai
I find myself counting the white petals
eight all told in each there’s a number
shaken loose by the downpour but this
isn’t about one overdue gardening project
everywhere I look’s the same if ever there
was a sense of control it’s been shaken
loose too and all illusion of order with it
Monday last I cut back one night blooming
jasmine outside my bedroom and another
near the fire pit the Queen of the Night
reduced to knee height twice afterwards
seeing I’d made small wounds openings
where fear flushed through so fast I was ready
to accept responsibility for new empty space
ready to plant something less overpowering
a scent such as cinnamon gardenia ready
to turn my back on it give resilience a chance
allow the cut branches to flourish anew
can I keep this up this cutting and shaping
this risking this turning my back on emptiness
one thing about a downpour in the night
so heavy it pushed through leaks in the roof
I’d thought repaired it’s left the air
refreshed breathed into hesitation
it’s cool this relief with beauty in disarray